The Bird of Joy

I have sat in wonder of a lot of God's creation. I've never seen this life as anything but miraculous. How could you not? There are so many things that I have seen in my life that have proven over and over that we have an amazing Creator. A God who has given us a beautiful world to live in. An amazing place to call home.

In giving birth to my children I have been amazed at God's wonder. Being able to be present when my best friend gave birth was another example of His wonder. But it has been a simple act of nature that has been the icing for me!

Let me go back a few months to tell you the story of The Bird.

If you recall a few months back my sister and I embarked on remodeling our bathroom. Before we ever stepped foot in the store to pick out the color for the walls or the decor I had found this little bird. I found her at a little store and she was very inexpensive! When I saw her I was immediately drawn to her for some reason. I loved her color and she just looked so precious. So I bought her in hopes of finding a way to incorporate her into our bathroom remodel. Again, I bought her before having any idea of what I was even going to do in our bathroom.

My sister and I got to work quite quickly and found a shower curtain that we used as our base idea. We both fell in love with the pattern and drew our ideas for the rest of the bathroom from it. We loved that the color blue matched our tile almost perfectly. It wasn't until after we had everything picked out that I looked at my sister and said "The bird!" Her color was going to match nicely with what we had picked out to do. I began to cry and didn't even know why I was so emotional about it... but I was.

As my sister and I began working on the bathroom I kept thinking about The Bird. I kept feeling like I was like that bird. Some how I felt the desire to be free. To spread my wings and just fly. I kept coming back to that freedom as we worked and eventually finished the bathroom. That sweet bird sits on my counter and daily reminds me of the freedom I have longed for in my life.

Well, to no surprise I recently found a nest, a real nest built on the side of our grill about 3 weeks ago. The very first thing that came to my mind was that bird in my bathroom. I wondered for days why a robin would build her nest so close to our house where there is constant traffic. I kept feeling in my heart that God was showing me that she felt safe. That she knew her babies would be safe. So daily I have watched that nest. Watched as one simple, blue egg appeared. Then two, then three, and finally four beautiful eggs. For days they sat under their mama, waiting for the right moment to break free of their shell. Hmm...sound like me. I've been sitting under the warmth of my Father's wings just waiting for the right moment to break free of MY shell. How crazy, I kept thinking to myself. I never would have expected to find such a simple act to speak so profoundly to my heart. But isn't that how our God works? He meets us right where we are!

So just the other day I was checking on The Bird and found that 3 of her babies had been born. They were the most sweet and precious little things I've ever seen! So fragile and weak. Breaking from their shells was just the first step to their complete freedom. As they continue to sit under their mama's wings they continue to grow and build their strength to the point where they will eventually spread their now weak wings and fly away.

My shell too has broken. Some of the biggest issues in my life have I have been freed from. I have come out of the darkness that has held me bound for too long. The heavy feeling that hung over my chest and mind has been lifted. I am almost 2 full weeks out from being on any medication. The anxiety that once ruled my life is no long in charge of me! God is setting me free in ways that I never would have thought and in ways I could have never imagined. I am spreading my wings. My time to fly is coming!!

Psalm 124:7 "We escaped like a bird from a hunter’s trap. The trap is broken, and we are free!"

The process to getting here has been hellish. Many do not understand. My path leading me here has been tough. In the past year, in order to cope, I have pulled away and hurt some people in doing so. But it was the only way I knew how to deal.

Now, as freedom is being given to me, I am finding so much more freedom in speaking the truth. My life is not perfect, but boy do I feel that God is doing a great work in my life. Now, as I look at the little blue bird on my counter, I am reminded that my time is coming. My wings are strengthening and I am about to fly. Where to? Who knows! Only God does and I am sure He will guide the wind beneath my wings and take me where He wants me. I am ready!