Best Laid Plans...

We all have them. We all have our own ideas of how our life should play out or what we want to do with our lives. But life is such that we have to prepare ourselves, that even our best of plans may not work out they way we want them to. This is a hard lesson for me to learn. Especially when it comes to family, our home, and my own expectations of myself.

Life throws curve balls that we are not always expecting. We recently had a curve ball thrown at us when my family found out that my uncle had fallen very ill (my mom's brother). Within a matter of two weeks we went from knowing nothing of his illness, to the Dr.'s giving him a matter of just a few months, to a few weeks, to his health declining so dramatically that he passed. It was such a whirlwind. My head still spins when I try to wrap my mind around all of it.

I was not particularly close to my Uncle Ed. But it doesn't matter the degree of the relationship, it still effected me. My mom lost her only sister last year in September. Now, she lost her only brother less then a year later. My heart breaks for her. She is the oldest and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see your only siblings, who were both younger than you, pass away before you. But I must say, my mom's faith is that of a saint. She is strong and ground in God's love for her and knows that it is only by His grace she can walk through each day. For that I have always admired my mom and longed to model her.

This curve ball also brought up a LOT of things in me that I did not even realize I had not dealt with in my life. It was not pretty the one day. All of this stuff just came up and out of me that I hadn't realized about myself. But I believe that is just how God works. He knows when and how to bring us to a place of change and strength. This week was not about me, but it surely brought up a lot for me to face and deal with. God knew this was a prime opportunity to show me and teach me something that just even a year ago I would not have been prepared to handle. Each of these steps bring me closer to the person HE wants me to be and I'm ever so thankful.

Mostly I'm thankful that Uncle Ed believed in Jesus and had a relationship with him. He defiantly had his struggles, but who doesn't right? He ended his life believing God was with him and would see him through this time. I can rest assured knowing that he held on to that faith through his last days.

Thank you friends who knew the circumstances and were praying for my family. Your prayers have been felt and very much appreciated.