I will NEVER bow!

Do you ever have times where you wish there was a switch in your mind that you could just switch off? I feel that way...A LOT! My brain seems to always be thinking about something. And I hate how quickly my mind can from one thing to another. My mind is defiantly my weakest point.

So to no surprise that is the area that the enemy tries to use against me. Just the other day I felt horrible the whole day. I was exhausted, stressed, and simply worn out. My head was so full of thoughts to top it all off. My head kept telling me things that I knew were lies but when you feel so weak it's hard not to start questioning whether they are or not. The thoughts were mostly about being a failure. Failing God, myself, my family, and friends. I felt like sticking my head in the sand (like I have for the past week or so) and just stay there. But avoiding the feelings I know will get me now where.

Then this morning as I have been reading and talking to God, I have realized that I AM a failure. We all are. We are all sinners, failing in some way or another. But the focus should not be on failing but on striving. To work towards change. And it may not be easy.

What a better attitude I could have if I just approached things knowing that I am going to fail. That I can strive for perfection but know that ultimately until I am with Jesus I will never BE perfect. And it doesn't mean I should stop trying to be and except that when I do fail I can except His grace and keep moving.

Thank God for His grace and mercy. And thank God they are NEW each and every single day. I am thankful for fresh starts. I am thankful for being renewed.

Please know that if I have failed you, it was never intentional. Please know that I have recognized my failures and that I am working on them. Thank you for those who love me despite my failures, who press on despite where I am, who seek me out when I withdraw and retreat. THANK YOU! I will not forever be in this place. And know that this is not going to define me. I am not defined by my failures, I will not allow myself to be. I am defined by God's standards and who He sees me to be. I just haven't opened my eyes enough to see who that is. ;)