Let's try again...

I had Blogger open for about 4 days. I even tried to start a post and got about 2 paragraphs in and got pulled away for one reason or another. I haven't had the chance to come back until now. This seems to be the case every time I want to sit down and blog. I miss blogging. I miss my bloggy friends. I just need to make more time to fit it in. Life is just crazy and each day goes by so fast. Anyone else out there feel the same way?

It's terrible that the past year or so I haven't blogged like I use to. Life is so different now. I'm keeping busy with homeschooling the kids. Camden is doing amazing and is in 2nd grade. As always, he amazes me with ability to remember everything. Merci was technically old enough to start Kindergarten this year (her birthday falling 3 days before the cut off). But I felt she needed another year of Pre-K work. I'm glad that I made this decision. She's doing really well. She is much more attentive this year than last and has come a long way. She is pretty headstrong and likes to do things her way. This has been the biggest challenge. But even so, she's doing great. It should be interesting next year. :)

I feel like from summer to now has flown by. I have no idea where the time has gone. We had my family in to visit in September for a little over a week. I love when my family comes in, it's always a joy.  But it's also a challenge getting back on our routine once they go back home. I really don't think we ever got back on our "normal" routine. We just created a new one. Mike was working 6 days up until early fall (and today he informed me he will be back on 6 days until further notice). I was blessed with a great deal of photography work in the fall and holiday season. It was craziness. We were juggling a pretty busy schedule. It has all been a huge blessing but it we've defiantly had to redefine our "norm". Things have since slowed down a bit and it's been a nice reprieve. We picked up schooling after the holidays and things are moving right along. I'm so happy that we chose to go the route we did. I love being home with my kids and being their teacher. It's not easy and some days the challenges have me worn down. But over all it's been great. I'm looking forward to some fun projects and outings once spring comes. I'm also excited to be communicating with another local mom who is wanting to start a group for homeschooling moms and kids. I think our town needs a group and I'm really looking forward to working with her over the summer.

In other news, I'm so thankful that God's mercies are new each day. I feel like I have come so far in my journey over the past year or so. I love the song "I Am New" by Jason Gray. Specifically the lines "Who I thought I was and who I thought I had to be, I had to give them both up cause neither were willing to ever believe...I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new. I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved. I am new." I've done a lot of reflecting this past year and worked harder on perfecting my walk. Judgement, fear, and insecurity are just a few of the things that have been pruned from my limbs. I find it's only made me stronger and much more self-aware. I wasn't willing before to completely surrender to the process my Maker was wanting to take me through. And quite frankly, I don't think I was ready. I'm so thankful I've seen who I was and where I needed to be. If one would have told me a year ago that I would be involved in a church that I absolutely love, that I would be helping in worship, that I would be driving all over doing photos for families (most of which I do not now), that I would be stronger in my faith than I've ever been...I don't think I would have believed any of it. My insecurities held me back in every aspect of my life. In my walk with God, in my parenting, in my relationships; including those who I truly love and cherish. God has helped me to see that not only was I insecure but that most everything else in my life that I struggled with came as a result of those insecurities. My security must lie within my Maker. I can not depend on myself to do anything, especially change. Once I began to surrender it all over to Him, I began to see tremendous changes in my life. I'm not "there" yet but I know that I'm surely not who I was and truly am being made new. It's as if the outside is being chiseled away to reveal a whole new me that has laid underneath the mess. We watched a great video at church this past Sunday that spoke of that very issue. It touched my heart because I believe it is exactly what God has been doing to me for the past year. It didn't come with out years of me fighting Him. But it's all about surrender. For years I would acknowledge before God the things in my life that were causing me to stumble. But I wasn't ready to fully surrender. Boy, once I did, the freedom that has followed has been amazing. It's an every day process. And though it doesn't always feel good, it's worth it all.

If you have time, please watch. It has a really good message.

I'm thankful for where I am in my life. I believe there are some exciting changes coming. In the meantime, I keep walking in faith. :)

Wow, this was such a random post. But I guess that's been life lately. HA! I think tomorrow I may steal a meme in hopes to keep me posting. I guess we'll see. Thanks for coming back friends.

Until next time...TTFN.