As a SAHM and wife I find myself some days pulled so thin. I am always needed and I'm fine with that. Really. I actually love the feeling of being needed by my family. But there are times where I feel like I can not be pulled any more. I feel like breaking down and honestly some days would love to just run away, even though I NEVER would. But what hits me more is when I do have time away (like yesterday) I feel guilty taking that time. I feel like I am neglecting something or someone by being away. And yet in the same token I feel some days I NEED that time away. I hate feeling torn. And I also struggle with the fear of others seeing my time away from my family as selfish. Why do I feel guilty and worrysome?
I guess this all stems back to my confidence in who the Lord has created me to be as a person. I know that I need to be more confident in who I am in Him therefor coming to a place of assurance that it doesn't really matter what others think of me. God knows my heart. God knows my needs. God knows that all mommies need a break and that it's OK. In the meantime, I keep asking God for the reassurance.
How 'bout you? Do any of you feel similar feelings or struggle with similar issues?
6 comments:
Hi Elizabeth!
I can tell you right now that ANY mother can relate to what you are feeling!! You should not feel guilty at all. Being a stay at home mom is not a 9-5 job. It continues even when our hubby's get home. Believe me..we all need a break once in awhile. Even if you were gone for 30 minutes, that would make a huge difference. You would come back refreshed!! If you can go to dinner w/ a girlfriend, or even a cup of coffee, do it! Just relax and not have to worry about getting up every few minutes, or getting something for somebody. I know that when I get those moments alone, I love it. It has nothing to do w/ being selfish, or that you can't handle being at home. Not at all!! Being a stay at home mom is the hardest and most challenging thing we can do. But, when you are home and you start to feel overwhelmed, just pray!! The Lord will sustain you and give you the energy and patience you need!!
His Grace is sufficient!!
HUGS,
Alicia
Oh yes, I can relate to this feeling. I do know that God does not want us to feel guilty though. Everyone of us needs to have time away. I think that time away is what makes me a better mom. As soon as I started looking at it like that, I felt so much better about taking time for myself. Look at it like this. It is the law, after so many hours, at any job, you must take a break. Our big boss (God) knows what is best for us.
I think all of us moms can relate to this. And I love what Alicia said in her comment His grace is suffient for me. I always feel so guilty if I go out on girl nights or I have time away but I also feel like we need time away! Thank you for sharing this with us.
{{HUGS}}
We can all relate...but it is so good to hear that others do feel the same as you do, doesn't it. YOu are not alone at all. I read a great book by Lisa Welchel called "Taking care of the me in Mommy" I think if you read that book, you may feel a little less guilty when taking those few hours of much needed break. I totally recommend it. The book and the couple hour breaks:) You deserve them.
Elizabeth - I've had your blog open all day because I wanted to make sure and comment to you, but I wanted to wait until I had 3 minutes without a kid hanging off of me.
I feel ya. I do. We all do. But I think it helps to say it out loud sometimes.
If we could just go to the bathroom alone; shower alone; sleep through the night for once; have a conversation without being interrupted; talk on he phone without running from or kids for silence; eat a warm dinner; just hear the thoughts running through our heds FOR ONCE.
Why do they have to touch me all day? Why can't the find it themselves? Why don't they look themselves? WHy do I have to do everything? Why doesn't anyone ever help out? When am iI going to get a break? Why does nobody recognize all of the work and effort I put into every day?
We know. WE see. I know we don't come to your house and hang with your kids. I know we don't tell you that we recognize all the effort and work you put into it but we..the mommies that read your blog..we know.
And we think you Rock.
mwah.
Ha! 'Scuse the typos..I was hurrying because Corban caught me here and was climbing up my arm to get into my lap. LOL
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