The Rantings Of A Hormonal Mother

Oh, I am sooo ready. Just when I think I can finish out these last couple of weeks, I change my mind. I really am ready. I want so much to be holding my baby rather than carrying her inside my womb. My body aches from the all the pressure that is on it as well from the desire to give birth. Most woman would call me crazy, but I want to go into labor. I want to give birth to my child and my reasons are many but mostly, unfortunately, are selfish. I hate even admitting that but it is very true. As much as I want this to be over so that I can cradle my baby girl in my arms, I want this to be over so that I can have my body back. I feel like a terrible mother by saying that, even though I know it's not true. I just hate that I feel so miserable that I want so much for it to be over. I want to be able to enjoy every moment but instead find myself longing more for it to be over. I know that this will most likely be my last time to experience this and I should be taking it all in. But let me tell you, I don't want to remember all the icky feelings I've felt this pregnancy. At the risk of sounding redundant, every pregnancy truly is different and I'm not so sure I'd want to do this again. Though I told Mike today that even though I am complaining, I shouldn't because I have had a very healthy pregnancy with no complications and for that I am grateful. I remind myself in moments such as this that it is almost over and that the end result will be our precious baby girl.

I'm pretty tired today and struggling to keep myself awake to keep an eye on Camden. That's what brought about this rant. I need to keep myself busy until bed time for him. But enough of this, I'm going to go for the night.